Seven Years Today

It's hard to believe that I haven't written a word since one year ago today. A lot of things have happened during this past year. After many struggles, I decided to take a residency position and moved to Madison. Sam has been extremely supportive of my decision. Luckily for us, his company let him work remotely. However, it was a very emotional move. We had lived in Oklahoma for almost 11 years, and it was sad to leave all of our longtime friends. From time to time I still question my decision- is it worthwhile to leave everything behind and start over?

Now it's been almost eight months since we moved to Madison. Time went by fast because of my busy schedule and life routines. The boys have adjusted really well. Chris likes his preschool and has made a few new friends, though he still thinks Eric is his best friend. Ethan is talking more and more and starts to show his strong personalities.

I haven't been feeling well lately. I have been studying for an upcoming test, which is not nearly as stressful as when I was on a busy rotation. It's really bizarre. Anyways, I decided to stay home today. Seven years ago I lost hope, and thought my life was over. Because of HIS grace I got my second chance. I am still lost from time to time, but I know He is with me. Please keep me on the right track. I also want to say that I love you and miss you, Yang Xiao. I will keep going and never give up because of you and your brothers.

Six Years Ago Today

We lost our oldest son - we named him Jerry Xiao Yang. I still remember every detail of that horrible weekend, which never fails to bring tears into my eyes. I was lying in the car, feeling so empty, desperate, hopeless, and helpless while Dad was trying to comfort me ( Dad left us a year and half later).

Time goes by and we have moved on ever since, but I will never forget. I look forward to meeting them again in heaven.

On a happier note, I just found out that I am finally getting my ECFMG certificate. It really is a bittersweet day.

Growing Up

Beibei has been walking for almost three weeks. He was very careful when he took his first steps. It was fun to watch him walk. He would take one or two steps before sitting down, and then get up walking again. Daddy videotaped some of his first steps.

Unfortunately there were still accidents here and there, now matter how careful he was. He had a really bad fall a couple weeks ago at Aunt Elizabeth's house. The bruises on his face have not completely disappeared.

We noticed today that Beibei was almost running. It is really amazing how fast children learn and grow.

Waiting

Waiting for something to happen can be really stressful. I am waiting for Beibei to walk, talk, and sleep through the night. I am waiting for Dongdong to go to school.
I need to take one day at a time and enjoy the many wonderful blessings I have received.

Pictures

This picture was taken six months ago, when grandma was still here. A friend of us got this fancy camera (pricey too) and took this picture. We just got it a few days ago. It always amazes me how time flies and how fast babies grow.

Birthday Boys

Today is Beibei's birthday. Dongdong had his birthday four days ago. My OB doctor, Dr. Levine, tried to schedule the C-section on September 13, Dongdong's birthday. I refused, so it got pushed to September 21. Beibei couldn't wait that long - he decided to come out a little early.

Why do we celebrate birthdays? We like to have birthday parties for kids. We love to watch them blowing the candles, opening their presents, and having all the attention. We like to remind ourselves of how much work we have done to raise them.

Birthdays are big in my family. To me, my birthday was the most important day of the year-yes, even bigger that the new year's day. I became the center of the family. I didn't have to do any house chores, got to eat a lot of treats (no cake though, there was no bakery in the small town we used to live), and was not afraid of being punished for bad behavior. When I was in college, my parents would send me a birthday note by telegraph (if you know what I mean) every year.

Sleeping Problem

Dongdong had been doing well until this past summer. We followed the routine every night. Dinner, playtime (watching TV most of the time, I know, we are lazy parents), bath, story time, saying good night to mommy and baby brother before going to bed with Daddy.

During this past summer, since mommy was not working and didn't have the pressure to get up early, and Daddy had back problems, Dongdong started coming back to sleep with Beibei and Mommy in the "big bed". With both of them turning, toiling, kicking, and screaming, mommy cannot get much quality sleep at all - this is why she is blogging at 3 am.

Beibei is an easy baby, even though sleeping is his biggest problem. I have to confess that he wakes up way more often than what I have hoped for - I don't even have the courage to count how many times he "screams" at night. I am jealous to hear from other moms that their babies start to sleep though the night since they are two months old. How can that happen?

Daddy has been having back pain for a while, which is quite unusual. He complains about the small bed- too soft and not good for his back. The good news is he gets a lot more sleep these days thanks to Dongdong and Beibei. He now goes to bed earlier that he used to. He told mommy yesterday morning that he had to feel refreshed after sleeping for almost ten hours.